3 ways to get to know your grandparents and learn about your family's traditions.
Before I dive in, let's consider this: Why is it that we (and by we, I mean the collective we) rarely take the time to sit down and talk to one another? I get bogged down by things I'm working on or feel I have to do instead of just taking the time to connect with the people in my life. Does this ring true for you as well?
Jay Shetty addressed this growing problem in his On Purpose podcast interview with Greg McKeown. They discussed approaching life from an essentialist point of view. If you have a moment, I highly recommend you give it a listen; if not, the main takeaways were:
"People overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can do in a day." ~ Greg McKeown
"Essentialism is not about doing more things; it's about doing more of the right things." ~ Greg McKeown
"It's the 90% and above important things that need to be in a priority position; otherwise, we'll just get caught in the middle, and we'll find after the years go by that we didn't do those things. And that's what regrets are made of." ~ Greg McKeown
This brings me to the importance of getting to know our grandparents and parents while we still have the chance. I'm lucky that I already know my parents' stories quite well, but I missed out on getting to know my grandparents the same way, and I don't want that to happen to you.
Here are three ways to feel more connected to them, even if they're no longer with you:
1) To get started, if you have the opportunity to visit with your grandparents (or even FaceTime them), then take the time to ask them these questions (and be sure to record their answers):
How would you describe your childhood?
What was the most memorable lesson your mom or dad taught you?
Did you go to college or university? How did you decide on a career?
Is there anything you have always wanted to do but haven't?
How did you meet Grandma/Grandpa? What was she/he like then?
How long did you date each other before getting married? What was your wedding like?
Tell me about one of the hardest choices you ever had to make. How did it turn out?
Was there an event that really changed the course of your life?
Was there a person who really impacted the course of your life?
Tell me about the single most memorable moment of your life.
What are you most thankful for?
What are you most proud of?
What is your philosophy on life?
List some of your greatest contributions, both professionally and personally.
How do you want to be remembered?
What special traditions do you most want our family to continue?
2) Next, make copies of your family's favourite holiday recipes. No matter your upbringing, one thing most families have in common is that many holiday traditions take place around the dining table. Even if your traditions are unique to your family, I'd bet that they still involve eating or drinking a traditional treat.
For example, growing up in my family, we always made homemade jelly doughnuts (Berliners) with my dad every New Year's Eve. We also celebrated Christmas Eve with a warm, gooey fondue-style cheese-filled sourdough loaf on the living room floor instead of a sit-down Christmas dinner.
So, if you haven't already, track down the recipes that are special to your family so that you may continue the tradition and share them with future generations.
3) Lastly, another way to get to know your grandparents is through family members and their closest friends. Even if your grandparents are no longer with you, you can still get to know them through others. Repurpose some of the questions listed above to ask the people they were closest with. And if all their close connections have passed away, turn to your parents' life stories instead. Some of their responses to your questions may even surprise you.