How Important is Family Identity?
Have we lost our sense of family identity? Lately, I've wondered if our generation, and more importantly, our children's generation, will still have a strong sense of family identity.
Growing up, I always felt a strong family identity, especially on my dad's side. My parents emigrated from Germany together a couple of years before I was born, and whenever we returned for family visits, we would spend most of our time with my dad's side.
My dad's family came from a long lineage of landowners and farmers. They were well-known within their community for being honest, hard-working, dependable, calm-natured and conservative. While my dad openly rejected his family's identity, most specifically their conservative way of thinking, unknowingly, my dad continued to model his family's identity for us in his own way. There was no one more reliable and hard-working than my dad.
A few set beliefs that shaped my sense of identity in my formative years were, "Ahrens' don't get sick," "Ahrens' are strong," and "Ahrens' don't give up." Even as an adult, many of the things my dad said to me still hold, such as "You are who you surround yourself with; choose wisely," "Always practice patience and tolerance," and "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
When I think of how we're raising our daughter, Margaret, I wonder whether I'm upholding that same strong sense of family identity for her. Or did I lose my family's identity with the loss of my maiden name? I generally don't identify with being a Ryan in the same way my husband would. Of course, there are characteristics of his family's identity I intend to uphold—they are close-knit and generous with their time—but I also want her to connect with my family's heritage and identity.
In the hope of imparting a stronger sense of my family's identity to Margaret, I’m taking her to Germany, introducing her to my relatives, and showing her the landscapes of her German heritage. Of course, it will take a lifetime of reinforcement, but at least it’s an intentional place to start.