What should I include in my memoir?

If you're considering writing your memoir but also wondering, "How do I get started, and what should I include?" you're not alone. In an earlier post, I covered the key differences between a memoir, an autobiography, and a biography. This article will focus on what to include when writing a memoir.

What separates a memoir from an autobiography is that a memoir should be based on a specific theme in your life. If you're not sure what type of theme relates to your life, here are a few examples: falling in and out of love, living with grief, saying yes to opportunities and where that's taken you, overcoming childhood trauma, growing up on a farm, homeschooling your children, the ins and outs of entrepreneurship, living with illness, learning to love yourself, finding your faith, travelling the world, the list goes on. 

Whatever theme holds true for you, use that as your North Star. A well-written memoir is usually curated around a single theme in a person's life. If multiple themes overlap, you should include more than one theme in your memoir. However, if you have two or three themes that don't easily overlap, consider writing a second memoir exploring the other theme(s). An example of overlapping themes could be that a lifetime of falling in and out of love with others has led you to love yourself first. 

Assigning a theme as your North Star will allow you to recognize which stories to include and which don't support your theme or add value to your book. Think of your book's theme as a lens or filter through which you will write about your life experiences. This technique will create more connection with your audience (family and public) and offer you a new perspective on how your chosen theme has impacted your life. Honest self-reflection is one of the most valuable benefits of the writing process for every writer. 

Now that we've covered the basics of memoir writing, let's dig into what shouldn't be included in a memoir. In most cases, memoirs don't require autobiographical information such as birth dates, exact locations, full names, or other facts. What separates a memoir from an autobiography is that a memoir is written from one's memories as a personal (not historical) account of your life. Of course, you can always include autobiographical data if you feel it supports the story. For example, if you're writing a memoir about living with grief and your daughter was born on the anniversary of your father's death, that would be pertinent to the story. However, in most cases, this type of information is unnecessary when telling the story. 

These recommendations are based on years of research and experience in book publishing. They are meant to inspire you, offer a way out of writer's block, and encourage you to get started. Of course, it's your story, and writing it however you choose is better than not writing it at all.

If you'd like help writing your stories to share with the people you love, you can book a 20-minute call with me to discuss your project. I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have. Remember, whenever you're feeling stuck, I'm here to help.