The Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself
How often do you ask yourself, ‘What do I want?’ If you’re like most people, probably not often enough.
Asking ‘What do I want?’ is one of the best ways to check in with yourself. Plus, what if the thing you're longing for is right in front of you or at least within reach? By asking yourself, ‘What do I want?’ you may learn that what you think you wanted isn't that important to you.
Remember that when you ask yourself, ‘What do I want?’ it doesn't have to be a significant life shift; the answer may be something simple. For example, you may want more time with your kids and grandkids, to check off items on your Bucket List, to join a like-minded community, or even to feel better.
On a recent podcast episode, Mel Robbins explored Sakichi Toyoda's Five Whys method. This method is not just another self-help tool; it's a powerful call to action for discovering what you truly want in life. You begin by asking yourself, 'What do I want?' and then follow up with the question, ‘Why?’ five times.
For instance, I want to create family history and memoir books for people and their families to cherish. Let's see how Toyoda’s Five Whys method applies to this:
Why? To help people record their life stories for their family before it’s too late.
Why? Because too many stories and lessons are forgotten over time, along with our history as a people. History keeps repeating itself because we don’t have the opportunity to learn from the stories of those who came before us.
Why? The history and stories shared by our grandparents and parents enrich our lives. Stories help us better understand ourselves and each other by helping us see the world from a different perspective.
Why? Younger generations often feel lost and are in search of a deeper meaning. But instead of looking inside themselves and into their unique family history, they look outside and are sold quick fixes that leave them feeling even more lost and alone.
Why? Learning about our history and hearing our parents' and grandparents' stories creates a more profound sense of self and connection to our roots. We’ll never find what we’re looking for without fully understanding and acknowledging our roots and how we got to where we are today.
That final ‘Why’ would lead me to dig even deeper, asking questions such as ‘What can I do to make a difference?’ or ‘How can I best serve my clients and their families?’
Alternatively, if the question, ‘What do I want?’ doesn't resonate with you, you could ask yourself, ‘What am I looking for?’
I recently finished reading What You Are Looking For Is In The Library by Japanese author Michiko Aoyama. The book centers on a librarian who touches the lives of many community members through her unique book recommendations. Everyone who comes to see her has a specific idea of what they are looking for, and she always recommends one book that isn't related to their search but ends up being precisely what they need at that point in their lives.
Asking yourself, ‘What am I looking for?’ may be more accessible than directly addressing your desires and ultimately encourages your brain to think in the same way. However, if you have the time and the curiosity, I highly recommend trying the Five Whys method. The results may even surprise you.